Bienvenue

Ahh the first post on a new blog.. I've procrastinated this for quite some time.  I've been struggling with fully grasping what exactly it is I am doing in this crazy city.

For those of you who followed my last blog, Snap Shots, I lost interest in documenting the mundane details of teaching in South Korea.  Life just lagged and not much changed from day to day.  I loved my students, fought with my employer, suffered through soju headaches and argued with my ex.  It was an endless cycle of beautiful friends and frustrating meltdowns.  I loved my time in South Korea, but I was ready to move on.

I don't want to get into detail on what happened in my last week as a waygook teacher in Busan, but I will say this.  I learned many things about living and surviving abroad and perhaps the most important thing is to know when to say goodbye.  Saying goodbye is never easy, to people you love or to places you once called home... that will always be difficult.  But if you no longer love who you are in that place, surrounded by those people.. that's unhealthy.  Sometimes breaking away is the best thing you can do for yourself... because if you no longer feel capable of loving who you are, what good are you to those around you?  If you allow someone to make you feel that small and insignificant, you truly are small and insignificant.

I am not small.  I am not significant.  I will never again allow someone to make me feel that awful. I am forever thankful for the friends who stood by me, & lifted me up.  Saying goodbye to them was time times harder, I truly made some incredible friends.

And that's how I ended up waiting by a Pop Eye's Chicken at the Saigon Airport after a long day's travel for a kind real estate agent, Des, to escort me to my AirBnb lodgings and some delicious riverside BBQ.   It was quite the introduction... the food, the smells, the heat, the smiling faces and the women who approach your table to sell you salted fresh fruits, eggs, and dried fish.  These new sensations and sights were a temporary reprieve from the train wreck I had just left behind.  I wasn't going to be that trainwreck, I was going to be a new Lauren.  A shinier, happier, more adventurous Lauren!  Enter:  Beyonce-Lauren hybrid.  ("All the single ladies... all the single ladies!")

I remained in my new city for two days before I decided to fly to Bangkok and join my wonderful friend, Malcolm, for a quick holiday.  We didn't do much sightseeing, but we ate the delicious things and I was able to be in the company of someone I trust to talk about my break up and move.  I felt safe, valued and was very sad when the day came to fly back into the city.  I don't think I'd be standing as steady if I hadn't had those few days to speak, and listen.  True friends are rare, I'm pretty luck to have had someone close enough to reach out when I needed it.  And oh my God were those tacos ever good!!

I checked into Vietnam Inn Saigon upon returning to the city, where I set up camp for a couple weeks in a 10 person dorm room.  In came the backpackers with their bamboo tattoos and their new found love of elephant pants, out went the backpackers... without their phones (thieves) and with scars from crashing scooters.  It seems to me that most visitors to Saigon come for the same reason:  rent a motor bike and drive between Hanoi & Saigon... North to South or South to North... ON YOUR GAP YEA-UH.

Seriously.

I felt like such an old woman, with my suit cases and my e-reader...  I just could not relate to the 20 year old girls filing in & out of my room, or the much older dudes with man-buns that slurp the warm, overpriced beers on the rooftop terrace.  However, the staff were beyond cool and I already miss them.

I did meet some of my new favourite people through the hostel though:  Tord, the very tall, very handsome Norweigan hockey player.  Gareth, the incredibly fun and gentle Irish lad also looking to make his way as an English teacher.  Mike, the sassiest grump I've ever met (also the kindest).  Rourke, Mike's roommate who is equally as hilarious and fun to hang out with....

After a week alone, I was joined by the beautiful Madison Moore & her lovely friend Erica!  We attempted to infiltrate the hostel pub crawl party scene, but ran away pretty early into the evening.  We just felt too old... so we ditched, to go find jager & KPop on Bui vien.  It was a successful night nonetheless.  We also visited the Chu Chi Tunnels, anddddd I got stuck.  I have come to the realization that I am old & fat.  I'm okay with it.  Whatever.

Madison & Erica moved on to Cambodia, & I cried when I realized I would be a lone old bitty again.
Post-break up Lauren doesn't do well with solitude.  Three days later, Ali arrived.

Basically, the sky opened and the sun came out, birds sang, angels cried & i was beyond happy to have my good friend with me.  We stuck around Saigon for a few days, then hightailed it to Mui Ne for some poolside relaxing.... & ofcourse I got the worst sunburn of my life.  Tanning oil is a bad idea in this Equatorial sun.  Lesson learned!

We met some German escorts, climbed some sand dunes, hiked down a stream to check out the canyons, and then boarded a bus back to Saigon to take possession of my beautiful (but expensive) apartment.

I have a home!  It's something tangible, solid.  I have a space that is mine where I can hide out all day if I want to, or entertain my friends.  I am sort of in love with it... my bed is gigantic, and I've decorated it simply and beautifully.  Ali found her own place in the same district, and it is beautiful.  She has a wonderful terrace, and soon we will throw a dinner party with our new friends.  I am so happy to have a friend nearby!  She came right when I needed her, & has been a great sounding board.

I had to put off my CELTA course due to my pension arriving late, so I am not yet working.  I was teaching four hours a week at a language cafe but the class is too small, and the cafe owner can't afford to pay me a fair wage.  So I am slinging resumes like a pro, trying to get a weekend gig.   The CELTA will provide me with the structure I've been lacking day to day... I will have to wake up early & drive my scooter (If I can get it out of the garage) or take a  motorbike taxi to the training centre in D1, buck up & study.  I want to do the best I can on this course.  I know I'm a great teacher, but I want to be better.  I want to be a better human, teaching is a vehicle for that.  I am happiest when I am helping others realize their potential.

Teaching might not be my forever career, but it makes me happy right now.  It's a meaningful job, with a great salary that allows me to live in another country I might otherwise not have seen.  I'm meeting people from all over the world, from different walks of life... it's such an amazing way to be spending my single-twenty-something years.

Until I actually start working, though, I'll be filling my days with [hopefully not crashing] my scooter, eating delicious things, tinder chats, and netflix.  One Tree Hill, anyone??

Not too shabby!

More to come, in time.